
我們周圍總是充滿著愛,父母的愛,老師的愛,同學的愛,朋友的愛……每天我們都能得到來自他們的愛,這些不同的愛是激發我們努力學習、奮發向上的動力源泉。請以“Love Around Me”為題,用英語寫一篇短文講述你身邊的愛,與大家分享,讓世界傳播更多的愛。
要求:
1. 語句通順,意思連貫,語法正確,書寫規范;
2. 必須包含所給提示,可適當發揮;
3. 文中不得出現真實人名、校名或地名;
4. 詞數:80左右(開頭已給出,不計入總詞數)。
Love Around Me
There is lots of love around me in my daily life.
命題透視:
1. 詳解讀
本文是一篇命題式開放性書面表達題,體裁為記敘文,要求以“Love Around Me”為標題寫一篇英語短文,講述來自身邊的愛,重點表達父母、老師、同學、朋友對自己的愛。本文的寫作主題語境屬于“人與自我”中的家庭學校生活范疇,此話題內容與我們日常校園學習生活緊密相連。
寫作時,首先要細致地研讀提示,從中獲取對寫作有價值的信息,主題講述我們身邊的人與事,來自父母、老師、同學、朋友等的愛,這就明確了寫作思路。其次,依據主題合理安排文章的段落及框架;再次,要篩選典型素材及相關語句。依據情境需要全文可采用三步法結構。
第一段簡潔明了,開門見山,直入主題——每天都能得到來自父母、老師、同學和朋友的愛;第二段具體描寫不同的人給我們不同的愛;第三段總結全文——感恩為自己付出辛苦和愛的所有人。
2. 巧審題
(1) 文體:記敘文;
(2) 話題:家庭及學校生活;
(3) 人稱:第一人稱;
(4) 時態:一般現在時態。
3. 會表達
(1) 文章描寫內容要具體,并且富有代表性,寫作思路要清晰;
(2) 根據情境發展,適當增加細節,發揮想象力;
(3) 段落要分明,銜接要自然;
(4) 語言表達要準確,通俗易懂,用詞要恰當,句式表達要多樣化。
學生習作:
[Love Around Me
①There is lots of love around me in my daily life. Every day I can receive love from my parents, my teachers, my classmates and my friends.
In the morning, my gentle mother cooks delicious food for me. Then my father drives me to school. ②At school all the teachers not only look after me well but also teach me lots of useful knowledge. They also help me and encourage me. ③All they do for me makes me happy." ④My dear classmates and I study and play together happily, getting on well with each other. I chat online with friends in my spare time. They often share my pleasure and trouble. I often feel happy and excited when I get love from them.
⑤I make a decision to study hard and make great progress. ⑥Here, I should say to them, “Thank you for all your love.”
亮點評析:
①此句是本文的主題句,開門見山,揭示主題。句中高級詞語daily表明作者擁有豐富的詞匯量。
②并列連詞“not only...but also”的運用,豐富了句式結構,同時凸顯了作者扎實的語言基本功底。
③定語從句表達精準,提高了文章的檔次。
④分詞短語“getting on well with each other”靈活使用增加了文章的色彩。
⑤短語“make a decision to, make progress”進一步表達了作者的決心和期望。
⑥此句言簡意賅,做到了首尾呼應,表達了作者的心聲。 名師點評:
本文內容充實、結構完整、語句流暢,使用了豐富的句式和連接詞,語法、詞匯拼寫無誤,書寫規范。作者圍繞主題表達了父母親、老師和同學對自己的愛,這些愛鼓舞自己努力學習,不斷進步。作者在行文中使用了很多高級詞匯,如delicious, gentle,encourage, happily, not only...but also, get on well with, make a decision, make progress等。另外,文中還使用了一些高級句式,如定語從句、時間狀語從句、并列句等,使語言表達靈活生動,給文章增添了色彩,給讀者留下了深刻印象。 ]
跟蹤演練:
每到畢業季,學生們都會以各種方式表達對老師的感激之情,如“師生之間互相留言話離別”“最后一堂課唱歌送別班主任”等。悲歡的背后是老師對學生的關懷和學生對老師深深的敬意。
根據下列提示和要求,以“I Love You, My English Teacher”為題,寫一篇短文。內容包括:
1.介紹老師的外貌特征及性格特點;
2.喜歡他(她)的原因;
3.表達對老師的喜愛之情。
要求:1.結構完整,表達通順,語言規范,書寫清晰;
2.文中不得出現真實的人名、學校名等信息;
3.詞數80左右(開頭已給出不計入總詞數)。
I Love You, My English Teacher
I have met many good teachers in the last three years. My English teacher....
參考答案:
I Love You, My English Teacher
I have met many good teachers in the last three years. My English teacher Mr. Huang is one of them. Now let me tell you something about him. Mr. Huang is of medium height and a little thin. He always wears a pair of glasses. He is very strict with us but he cares about every student. When the students from poor families are in trouble, he is always ready to help them. I like my English teacher because he has many good ways to make our class lively. Many students fall in love with English because of him. I love you, my English teacher, I will never forget you!
(作者單位:山東省菏澤市鄆城縣第一初級中學)