人際關系中12件不要做的事

編者按： 有一個可以破壞或者加深你人際關系的重要因素。這個因素就是你的態度。如果你希望在生活中保持并發展積極的人際關系，請讀這篇文章。

1. Stop meaning what you don’t say. People can’t read minds. Communicate regularly and effectively.

不要去暗示。別人不能讀懂含義。正常地、有效地溝通。

2. Stop making it all about you. The world revolves around the sun， not you. Take a moment to acknowledge this truth on a regular basis.

不要太自我。世界是圍著太陽轉，而不是你。承認這條公理吧。

3. Stop blaming. Blaming others accomplishes nothing. Either you own your problems， or they own you. It’s your choice. When you blame others for what you’re going through， you deny responsibility—you giveup your power over that part of your life， and you annoy everyone around you in the process.

不要責怪。責怪他人沒有任何用處。要么你有你的問題，要么問題屬于你。這是你的選擇。當你責怪他人的時候，你否認這種責任——你失去生活中一部分的力量，并且你會惹惱你周圍的人。

4. Stop doubting. If you think that you can’t achieve something， I have some news for you， you’re probably right. But don’t let yourself—doubt interfere with other people’s dreams. Remember， the one who says it can’t be done should never interrupt the one doing it.

不要懷疑。如果你認為你不能完成某件事，我要告訴你，你很可能是對的。但是不要讓你的自我懷疑打擾到別人的夢想。請記住，永遠不要去打擾別人在做的事情，就算你認為它不可能實現。

5. Stop being selfish. You get what you put into a relationship. Nothing less， nothing more.

不要太自私。在人際關系中投入多少你就會得到多少。不多也不少。

6. Stop judging. Everyone is fighting their own unique war. You have no clue what they are going through， just like they have no clue what you’re going through.

不要武斷。每個人都會與自己有獨特的戰爭。你沒有辦法知道他們此刻正在做什么，就象他們也沒有辦法知道你此刻正在做什么。

7. Stop gossiping. Gossiping about others is a lose situation. It hurts them， and then it hurts your reputation.

不要傳播流言蜚語。傳播別人的流言蜚語你會處于不利的形勢。這會傷害他們，也會損害你的名聲。

8. Stop making promises you can’t keep. Don’t over—promise. Over—deliver on everything you do.

做不到的事情不要作出承諾。不要過多的承諾。要多多兌現。

9. Stop comparing people to others. No two people are alike. Everyone has their own strengths. We are only competing against our own selves.

不要拿別人和他人做比較。沒有兩個人是一樣的。每個人都有自己的優點。我們能做的是與自己競爭。

10. Stop trying to be everything to everyone. It’s impossible. But making one person smile can change the world. So narrow your focus.

不要試圖成為每個人的一切。這是不可能的。但是使人微笑可以改變世界。所以縮小你的焦點。

11. Stop screwing （欺負） people over just because you can get away with it. Just because you can get away with something doesn’t mean you should do it. Think bigger. Do what you know in your heart is right.

不要你可以逃避懲罰，你就欺負別人。就算你可以逃掉懲罰，但這并不意味著你做的是對的。多想一想。做你對得起你良心的事。

12. Stop making mountains out of molehills. People make mistakes. Crap happens. There’s no reason to stress out yourself and everyone around you because of it. One way to check if something is worth mulling （深思熟慮） over is to ask yourself this question， “Will this matter in one year’s time？” If not， then it’s not worth worrying about.

不要把小丘變成大山。人們會犯錯，壞事會發生。沒有理由因為這些事情，就讓壓力圍繞著你和你身邊的每一個人。一種檢驗這件事是否值得去想的方式是問自己：“一年后我還會在意這件事情嗎？”如果沒有，那就不值得去煩惱。

And remember， your relationship with yourself is the closest and most important relationship you will ever have. So pay attention to it， develop it， nurture it， and never stop.

最后請記住，你和自己的關系是你所有關系中最親密最重要的關系。所以請關注它，開發它，培養它，永遠，不要停止。