醫學英語病句診治(二)

陳振華，鄒雨軒（瀘州醫學院學報編輯部，四川瀘州646000）

醫學英語病句診治(二)

陳振華，鄒雨軒
（瀘州醫學院學報編輯部，四川瀘州646000）

醫學英語；英文摘要；病句；診治

醫學論文的英文摘要是為了國外同行用最短時間（英語為母語者一般僅需若干秒鐘）了解該文主要內容，以便閱讀者判斷是否閱讀全文，以及方便科技信息情報檢索等。

國人在構思英文語句時難免受漢語語法思維定勢的影響，產生一些問題，如句子冗長重復、主謂關系不清等，以致影響讀者的閱讀速度和理解程度，有的甚至要仔細分析，才能大致弄懂意思。

目前關于英語寫作的書籍雖然很多，但醫學論文作者往往科研及臨床事務繁忙，撰文前一般不會去查閱相關英文文獻，日常的工作、學習培訓中也未開展相應的課程提高其英文表述能力。

為了切實提高醫學論文作者英文摘要的寫作水平，我刊推出《醫學英語病句診治》一欄，將我們在編輯過程中遇到的一些具有代表性的病句加以分析和改正，方便讀者在翻閱本刊之余，進行瀏覽，望有收獲。

1.病句1

After received an ineffective treatmentof rountine surgical therapy and twice auto-logous skin grafting of 64 days，we present a novel method by which MSCs were harvested from the bone marrow of a patient of confirmed type 2 diabetes who presented with post-traumatic infection and non-healing skin defect in foot.2型糖尿患者足損傷伴重度感染和皮損傷1例，經64天常規手術治療和2次自體皮移植無效后，將自體MSCs混懸液移植到該患者的足部傷口。

錯誤性質：句子開頭的介詞短語看似修飾主語“we"，但不合邏輯，醫生不會接受治療，而是對病人進行治療。這種錯誤在語法上叫“懸垂修飾語”(danglingmodifier)，影響閱讀理解。

修改：將分詞“received"，改成“performed”。即：After performed an ineffective treatment of........，we ........。

或者：加入主語“patient”。即：After the patient had received an ineffective treatmentof........，...........。

此外，因醫學論文不宜用第一人稱，且應突出主題病人，故應以病人為主語，重新組織句子。

修改后：A type 2 diabetic patient with foot destructive injury combined severe infection and skin defect，after received 64days of ineffective routine surgical therapy and twice autologous skin grafting. was treated with autologous transplantaion of MSCs harvested from his own bonemarrow.

2.病句2

To investigate the'"needles and after ligation of the left renal artery，the artery narrowing caused by the extraction of needles"way to improve the"two kidneys one clip"method of establishing renal hypertension model.目的：探討“銀針與左腎動脈共結扎后抽取銀針造成左腎動脈縮窄”的方法以改良“兩腎一夾”法復制腎性高血壓模型。

錯誤性質：作者未能清晰表達自己要表達的信息，這是編者在審稿中常見的問題，尤其多見于論文的前言或討論部分，作者有所創新、有所發現的時候。導致錯誤的原因常常是詞匯掌握不足。以本句為例，作者未能譯出“共結扎”一詞。另外，“銀針抽出導致動脈窄縮”不合邏輯，窄縮是由結扎引起。

修改：首先解決“共結扎”的譯法，這必須依靠工具書，即漢英詞典和英語詞典。共結扎一詞是無處查的，但可以從漢英詞典查“共”的譯法，得到“commen，general，share，together...."等；再查英語詞典，只有“together”一詞可與動詞結合，構成“共同的動作”。因此“共結扎”可譯成“ligate together"或"ligation of....together"，更可利用“co-”詞冠組成“co-ligation"一詞，更為簡潔。

To investigate the"ligation of left renal artery and acupuncture needle of different thickness together then extraction of the needle to cause the artery indifferent degree of narrowness"way to improve the" two kidney one clip"method of establishing the renal hypertesion model.

但是命名一個新方法應該言簡意賅，不應簡單地由各詞進行羅列闡釋，故可改為：

修改后：To investigate the"two kidneys one controlled ligature"way to improve the"two kidneys one clip"method of establishing renal hypertension model.

3.病句3

To investigate the effect of midorine hydrochloride with different systolic blood pressure on intradialytic hypotension among elderly maintenence hemodialysis patientswith diabetic nephropathy.研究鹽酸米多君不同收縮壓時給藥對防治老年糖尿病腎病維持性透析患者發生透析性低血壓的療效。

錯誤性質：同病句2，未能表達“不同收縮壓時給藥"這一關鍵性概念。“with different systolic blood pressure"修飾“midorine hydrochloride”不合邏輯，藥物是不會有血壓的。顯然，“with”應改為“at”，變成狀語，以修飾句中缺少的“給藥”一詞。

修改：“給藥”一詞可譯成“administer”或簡單譯成“give”。

修改后：To investigate the effect ofmidorine hydrochloride given at different systolic blood pressure on intradialytic hypotension among elderly maintenence hemodialysis patientwith diabetic nephropathy.

4.病句4

30 rats injected with STZ，surgical cut，glacial acetic acid daub wound to establish intractable skin ulcer of diabetic rat.30只大鼠用STZ注射，手術創傷，和水醋酸涂抹傷口建立糖尿病難癒性潰瘍模型。

錯誤性質：中式英語，單靠詞意和詞序表達；雖有動詞，但未進行詞形變化使之與主語的人稱和數一致。

修改：選定主語，動詞進行一定的人稱、數和語氣時態變化，使之與主語一致。

修改后：①以rat為主語：30 rats were injected with STZ，made surgical cut，and daubed with glacial acetic acid on the wound to establish themodel of intractable diabetic skin ulcer(IDSU).

②以model為主語：Themodel of IDSU was established by injection of STZ，surgical cut and daub of glacial acetic acid on the wound in 30 rats.

③以STZ等為主語：STZ injection，surgical cut，and daub of glacial acetic acid were applied on 30 rats to establish themodel of IDSU.

④以作者為主語：The authors injected STZ. Into 30 rats，made surgical cut，and daubed glacial acetic acid on the wound to establish the models of IDSU.

可見，英語句子的結構靈活多變，關鍵是要保持主語—動詞—賓語的基本格式，和主謂一致的原則。注意句中的平行結構，即以and連結的并列成分，其結構應相一致。

5.病句5

It is the hot topic to further improve the prognosis of diabetic patients with typical atherogenic dyslipidemia and in high risk of cardiovascuar events with combined lipid-lowering strategies.糖尿病人具典型的致動脈粥樣硬化的血脂異常和高度心血管風險，聯合降脂治療成為進一步改善糖尿病預后的熱點。

錯誤性質：修飾語位置錯誤。本句有5個由介詞短語組成的修飾語，最后的“with combined lipidlowering strategies"是狀語，修飾句子的動詞“to improve”，表示方法，被前面的兩個定語修飾語隔開，妨礙了閱讀理解。

修改：將錯置的修飾語移開，另成一句。

修改后：Diabetic patients have typical atherogenic dyslipidemia and in high risk of cardiovascular events.How to further improve the prognosis of diabetic patients with combined lipid-lowering therapy becomes a hot topic.

6.病句6

CombinatIon of statin and fibrate can more effectively improve the atherosclerotic lipid profile than monotherapy of statin through reduction of LDL-c and increase of HDL-c，thus significantly reducing the risk of cardiovascular diseases.他汀聯合貝特能比他汀單獨治療更有效地通過降低LDL-c和增高HDL-c以改善致動脈粥樣硬化血脂譜，從而顯著減少心血管病風險。

錯誤性質：本句有兩個狀語修飾語，前后位置顛倒，后一個是修飾主句的謂語，表明方法，應前移；“thanmonotherapy of statin"是修飾主句全句，故應后移。事實上“mono-theray of statin"的地位與“combination of..."相等，其謂語被省略。

修改：將后一修飾語移前。

修改后：Combination of statin and fibrate can more effectively improve the atherosclerotic lipid profile through reduction of LDL-c and increase of HDL-c thanmonotherapy of statin，thus significantly reducing the risk of cardiovascular diseases.

（2014-03-25收稿）

H31

A

10.3969/j.issn.1000-2669.2014.02.030

陳振華（1924-），男，副教授，E-mail:lzyxyxb@163.com