最奇葩的分手理由

The Weirdest Reason to Have a Break Up

One day I was having dinner in the canteen， suddenly I bite my tongue and I shout loudly.

My roommate， who was a dobe， asked me that what happened. It’s so pain that I couldn’t say anything just spited out blood. This dobe yelled，\" Stop eating！ The rice is poisonous！\"

我在食堂吃飯，咬到了舌頭我疼得大叫……

二貨室友問我怎么了，我疼的說不出話就指指嘴，然后吐了點血……

這二貨大叫：“大家別吃了，飯里有毒！”

I lost some scores because of the messy handwriting in the final exam.

So I asked teacher if my dog-crawled handwriting couldn’t be saved.

My teacher shot a glance at the paper and said，\" Your handwriting is not like dog-crawled.\"

J ust as I sighed with relief， my teacher said，\" I can’t identify which animal’s crawled your handwriting looks like.\"

期末考試，我因為字跡不工整被扣了卷面分。

于是我問老師，自己的狗爬字真沒救了嗎？

老師看了看我的卷子，說：“你這個還不算狗爬?！?/p>

正當我松一口氣時，老師幽幽說：“我實在看不出是什么動物爬的?！?/p>

My son was scolded by his mother because he had bad points in middle school entrance exams.

I came to comfort him，\" You should study hard to surpass me in the future.\"

My son stared blankly for a few seconds and said in a low voice，\" I can’t promise other things， but I can find a kinder wife than yours.\"

兒子中考考試考差了，被老婆罵了一頓。

我去安慰兒子：“你要努力學習，以后一定要超越爸爸?！?/p>

兒子愣了一下，弱弱來了一句：“別的我不敢保證。但是，以后找個比你好的老婆還是很有把握的?！?/p>

I heard the weirdest reason to have a break up today. Girl： \"You like boys or girls？\" Boy： \"Of course girls.\" Girl： \"But I like boys. We have different interests. I have to break up with you.\"

今天聽到了一個最奇葩的分手理由，女：“你喜歡男生還是女生？”男：“女生?！迸骸拔蚁矚g男生，咱們性格不合，分手吧！”

Y ou are the only one who knows that you are stupid without WeChat. Now the whole world knows.

沒有微信的日子你都是蠢給自己看，現(xiàn)在有了微信，蠢給全世界看。

When I was a student， one day， I fetched hot water from the public water room with my classmate. On the way back， the thermos bottle created a squeaking sound.

I said，\" Oh， my god！ The thermos bottle will crack！\"

Suddenly， my classmate tossed it out， just heard \"bang\"！ The thermos bottle cracked.

He said fearfully，\" Luckily， I threw it quickly that it didn’t hurt me.\"

上學時和同學一起去打熱水，回宿舍路上暖瓶吱吱地響。

我說：“不好要炸啦?！?/p>

這哥們嗖地一聲把暖瓶扔出去了，嘭，果然炸了。

這哥們心有余悸地說：“還好我扔的快，沒炸到我?！?/p>

One day I said to my mother： \"It’s so boring to eat at home everday， how about go out for a special dinner？\" My mom thought for a while and nodded. Then she gave me a bowl of rice and let me eat without.

我對老媽說：“天天在家吃都吃膩了，要不今天去外面吃？”老媽想了想，點了點頭。然后給我盛了一碗飯讓我一個人去外面院子里吃。