The Comparison and Analysis of Sino—American Family Educational Ways—from the Case of American Chinese “Tiger Mother” Family Educational Way

Xian University of Technology /ShiLei

【Abstract】Amy Lynn Chua is a daughter of Chinese immigrants ， a lifetime professor of Law school of Yale university， she became popular and controversial since she published her child-rearing memoir《Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother》， in which Amy Chua wrote down how to teach her two daughters in a harsh and strict way， especially a discussion about Chinese and American family educational ways. This paper use this case as an example to compare differences between Chinese and American family educational ways and try to analyze reasons.

【Key words】Comparison； Analysis； Sino-American family educational ways； Tiger mother

I. Introduction

Family education plays an important role in childrens growth， no matter in western country and eastern country， parents attach great importance to childrens education. However， how to teach children varies from country to country because of different traditional culture、social custom and concept of consciousness. At present， a hot debate about family educational ways was aroused by American Chinese “tiger mother” Amy Chuas child-rearing memoir Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother， who is a daughter of Chinese immigrants， a lifetime professor of Law school of Yale University. Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother recorded Amy Chuas own Chinese family educational ways honestly， in which she set ten precepts for her daughters to obey. Whats more ， this controversial mother calls her child “garbage” ， rejects her daughters hand-made birthday cards because it is not good enough， she even threatens her three-year-old daughter to stand outside in winter until she is ready to obey. Amy Chua names her methods “Chinese parenting，” and she succeeds in teaching her daughters in this way， both two girls are very excellent in academic performance and versatile. The success of Amy Chuas Chinese family educational ways sparks off a hot debate on Sino-American family educational ways.

II. Comparison between Chinese and American family educational ways

Firstly， we should know what family education is. Family education means parents or other senior family members educate children consciously within family， it is an important link among social education system， it cannot be replaced by school education and social education. Next， well compare Sino-American family educational ways from three dimensions： intellectual education 、moral education and other family education.

i. Intellectual education comparison

Nowadays， most Chinese family has only one kid because of one child policy， served by all the family members， parents and grandparents even their uncles and aunts， children are seen as “l(fā)ittle sun” or “center” of the whole family. Todays parents concern more to intellectual education than any other generations. The concept， “To be a scholar is to be the top of society” is deep-rooted in China. Influenced by this traditional viewpoint， most Chinese parents show high expectations to their children， just like “tiger mother” Amy Chua， they wish their children will perform excellently in study ， and enter into famous university in future. The only criterion to judge a child is grade， therefore， most Chinese students regard grades as “their lives”， the news about students committing suicide are often heard because of poor academic performance. Children have only to open one's mouth to be fed and hold out one's hands to be dressed， as long as they study well. Yet， the fact we cannot ignore is that children lose their own independent living ability and self-care ability after receiving this kind of “special care”. On the contrary， American parents dont care about grade too much； they advocate happy study， so children study in a relatively relaxing environment. What American parents emphasize is to lead to and arouse childrens intrinsic interest in science， and intend to promote intelligence through practice. Because they think it is important to adapt fierce social competition in future. American children learn how to live independently at early age， such as doing some housework. American parents always make something by hand with their children， or beautify their family environment with their children； this way is beneficial for children to develop creative logical capacity. Whats more， the interaction between parents and children will enhance the family affection between children and parents.

ii. Moral education comparison

Both American and Chinese family pay high attention to moral education， both hold a view that only with lofty ideal can children become a useful people for the country. Therefore， there are some similar educational ways between Sino-American families，such as inculcating feeling of loving country and Affection of being faithful to country. Both American and Chinese family prefers to use heroes and models in different times to encourage and educate their children. However， the differences between American and Chinese family educational ways are still very obvious. Chinese parents usually use persuasion education， they either copiously quote authoritative works or use their own experiences to educate their children sentimentally and rationally， exactly speaking， let children grow along the way they plan for them. Once children dont follow parents words， parents will apply their authority to punish children or even beat them to obey， using violent educational ways is not uncommon in China. This traditional family educational way will cause the loss of individuality of children as well as the loss of creativity.

As we all know， American parents advocate equality and freedom， they reckon that children will enter into society eventually and need to widen life way through choices made by themselves again and again. Therefore， American parents allow their children to choose by themselves when they are very young， they never demand what children should do or what they should not， but they will tell them what the results are if they choose like this. Besides， American parents always use their own activities to educate children to be a civilized person， for examples ，they never spit or litter peel or cigarette ends on the street， they always consciously abide by public orders， whenever they take a subway ， go shopping even go to toilet， they will line up for.

iii. Other family education comparison

（i）Economic education comparison

Affected by “The worth of other pursuits is small， the study of books excels them all.” Chinese parents dont care too much about childrens abilities in other aspects except study； they grant whatever is required for childrens material demands. They prefer their own hardship to their childrens any grievance. Not only do most Chinese parents offer money to let children receive education and grow up， but also they need to offer money to help children to buy house and form a family. What a heavy burden for Chinese parents！ To some extent， Chinese parents live for their children not for themselves. Nevertheless， American parents attach more importance to cultivate childrens monetary view. they argue that teaching children to learn how to use pocket money correctly is a key element which can teach them to learn how to manage money、how to be thrifty and how to make correct spending decision， whats more， it is also an essential education link to make children become a “social man”. American children are assumed to be responsible for their financial situation； parents will not intervene as well as pull them through financial crisis. So， American children are independent economically and spiritually. Compared with them， most Chinese children neednt worry about their financial problems from their born to their graduating from university. However， everything has two sides； it is because of ignoring consciousness of managing money that Chinese children always ask for their parents help when they suffer from financial crisis after they work. Sometimes， some of Chinese children even become boomerang kids although they have received high education.

（ii）Social communication education comparison

Based on ideal education， Chinese parents expect children to focus on study instead of spending time on social activities， especially in the period of “key stage”， they have various of reasons to show why they disagree with their children on taking part in more social activities. When children are young， they are afraid that children will be cheated or bullied by evildoer； after children grow older， it is vital stage to prepare all kinds of examinations， which is so crucial that children cannot afford to spend time on such unimportant things， such as social communication. All in all， Chinese parents are reluctant to let children participate in social activities， and if their children have conflict with other people， most Chinese parents are partial to and side with their own children. Taught by this way， most Chinese childrens interpersonal communication ability is not good enough， which also cause some social problems， such as being self-centered and ignoring feeling of other people， whats worse， some young boys or young girls dont know how to communicate with opposite sex properly so that they become leftover women or men. While t is totally different in America， not only do American parents encourage children to make friends but also they respect childrens friends. It is common thing for American parents to accompany their children to take part in their friends family gathering or birthday ball. Encouraged by parents， American children are universally interested in social communications， through which they have learned social manners 、social conventions、appropriate clothing and interpersonal communication model. It is beneficial to help children to become healthy social people.

（iii）Sex education comparison

The biggest difference between Sino-American family educations exists in the aspect of sex education. Influenced by thousands of years traditional feudal ideology，

most Chinese family regard “sex” as being nasty and dirty. Chinese parents usually feel shameful or shy to talk about sex with their children； they choose to avoid mentioning this kind of questions in front of children. Chinese parents always blame or criticize children when they have some sexual consciousness. It is because of lacking knowledge of sex and lacking proper instruction that some Chinese children choose to browse pornographic website， even commit crime. Yet， American parents pay much attention to childrens sexual health education. American parents assume that it is a necessary step to offer children some proper sexual health knowledge in order to help them become “social people”. American parents discuss about sex health problems with their children on their own initiative rather than wait for being asked for this kind of questions by their children. When they watch TV with children together， if there are some frames related to sex， American parents dont feel embarrassed， on the contrary， they will take it as a good family sexual education opportunity， explaining and discussing with children. American parents argue that it is childrens nature to be interested in their own body and opposite sexs body. They will not obliterate childrens natural instincts and lead children to learn something in a correct way.

III. Analysis of reasons of differences between Sino-American family educational ways

From above mentioned comparison， we can discover that there are distinct discrepancies between Chinese and American family educational ways， what are reasons？ Several causes are analyzed.

i. Historical backgrounds

America is a country of immigrants with short history， retaining very few old ideologies. Under the influence of multicultural ideological values， American people can accept new thoughts and cultures quickly； furthermore， western civilization is a kind of sea culture， which causes the formation of adventurous spirit and innovative spirit of American people. However， China is a country with long history and culture， affected by traditional feudalism and Confucianism， peoples development are restrained by so many limitations， they are taught to be obedient. Consequently， Chinese people are more conservative and reserved， lacking innovative spirit and adventurous spirit. Moreover， China is a typical continental agricultural culture， which make Chinese people always embrace — “content is happiness，” comparatively， environment to accept new things is deficient in China.

ii. Economic patterns

American commodity economy is advanced， so American society provide people with more employment opportunities，the pressure of living is comparatively small. Meanwhile， America is a country whose society stresses peoples ability； its employing mechanism is sound， the flow of labor force is free， and opportunities of job-hopping are large. Therefore， American peoples opinion on job is open. It is not important for American parents that which kind of job is chosen by their children as long as the job is legal. In addition， commodity economy makes the relations of production always change， which make job-changing common. Yet， China is a developing country， people suffer from heavy living pressure， the result is Chinese people put their happiness of whole life on a certain kind of job. Chinese parents believe that a good academic performance is a guarantee for looking for a good job. Thus， the purpose of Chinese family education is to teach “talent”， this word means excellent studying scores， entering into a good university and get diploma.

iii. Traditional culture

（i）Value orientation

American value orientation is individualism， stressing individuality. American people pay attention to personal benefits、self-realization and uphold individual development， which is the core of American culture. One of American scholars pointed out that every citizen in democratic society is habitually to think about a small objective —himself. Being basis in American family， individual has the highest value and is independent in family relationship. Children， independent individuals， should be respected no matter in study or in life； meanwhile， parents will not abandon their own life or interests only for the sake of children.

On the contrary， Chinese society emphasizes similarity， stressing collective benefits above all. The value of individuality can only be achieved in the relationship with other people. Chinese parents can sacrifice a lot for their children even losing self. Chinese parents regard children as continuity of their values， who are all their hope. So， Chinese parents expectations to their children are much higher than childrens actual capacity.

（ii）Thinking styles

American people are rationalism， American family education advocates rational fundamental principle which is used to deal with family affairs and to treat family members. Most American parents think the duty of rearing children is the same with their duty to society. Whats more， America is wealthy， social pension insurance system is better， the purpose of raising children is not for parents old age. Whereas， Chinese people are emotionalism， Chinese family education is based on human relations，and emotion and sense are used to deal with family members relationship. The purpose of Chinese family education is mainly for parents old age and their own face.

IV. Conclusion

With the development of society， Chinese family education is becoming more and more diversified. Today， more and more Chinese people appeal “happy education” and learn from western family education. Nevertheless， with the success of Chinese American “tiger mother” family educational way in “Chinese parenting”， “Chinese parenting” is hot again. Which family educational way is better？ It is really difficult to give a definite answer. Every coin has two sides， we should consider this question objectively.

References：

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