辭宴書 On Refusing an Invitation to a Banquet

文/賈平凹 譯/胡宗鋒 羅賓·吉爾班克

By Jia Pingwa

老兄：今晚粵菜館的飯局我就不去了。

My older brother:I shan’t be attending the Cantonese style banquet tonight.

[2]在座的有那么多領(lǐng)導(dǎo)和大款，我雖也是局級，但文聯(lián)主席是窮官、閑官，別人不裝在眼里，我也不把我瞧得上，哪里敢稱作同僚？他們知道我而沒見過我，我沒有見過人家也不知道人家具體職務(wù)。

[2]There may be so many senior leaders and nouveau riche there this evening.Although I’m also a bureau head, the Chairman of the Federation of Literature and Arts Circles has little chance to peddle his place for profit; he isn’t even kept overly occupied.Others never have me in their line of vision and I too look down upon myself.How can I sit in their company?True enough, they know who I am but have never met me before.I’ve never made their acquaintance and cannot even be sure of their specific ranks.

[3]若去了，他們西裝革履我一身休閑，他們坐小車我騎自行車，他們提手機我背個挎包。于我覺得寒酸，于人家又覺得我不合群，這飯就吃得不自在了。

[3]If I were to go, all of them would be wearing Western dinner jackets, whereas I would dress casually.They would be chauffeured over there, whereas I would choose to cycle.They would brandish cellular phones,whereas I would have nothing but my hold-all.I would feel humble in and of myself, whereas they might sense I was being unsociably aloof.All of us would be ill-at-ease as we dined.

[4]要吃飯和熟人吃得香，愛吃的多吃，不愛吃的少吃，可以打嗝兒，可以放屁，可以說趣話罵娘，和生人能這樣嗎？和領(lǐng)導(dǎo)能這樣嗎？知道的能原諒我是懶散慣了，不知道的還以為我對人家不恭，為吃一頓飯惹出許多事情來，這就犯不著了。

[4]If you want to eat, just stick with your friends.The food will taste delicious then.You can gorge on more of what you like and spurn what you are not keen on.You can belch, fart,curse, and jape while eating.Can you do these things among strangers? Can you do these things among senior leaders? Familiar folk are inclined to be forgiving because they know that this is my way.Those who are not may very well conclude that I am being disrespectful.It is not worth going to a meal when so much trouble could ensue.

[5]酒席上誰是上座，誰是次座，那是不能亂了秩序的，且常常上座的領(lǐng)導(dǎo)到得最遲，菜端上來得他到來方能開席。我是半年未吃海鮮之類，見那龍蝦海蟹就急不可耐，若不自覺筷先伸了過去如何是好？即便開席，你知道我向來吃速快，吃相難看，只顧悶頭吃下去。若順我意，讓滿座難堪，也丟了文人的斯文；若強制自己，為吃一頓飯強制自己，這又是為什么來著？

[5]There are, moreover, strict, inviolable rules about who should be seated at the head of the table and who should sit immediately to his side.The senior leader who is given priority has the prerogative to always turn up late.The table may have been laid, but the others cannot touch the dishes before he arrives.I’ve now gone half a year without eating seafood.When I spy lobsters and crabs I cannot restrain myself.What would happen if I couldn’t wait and unconsciously stretched out my chopsticks first? You know, even after a banquet has begun I cannot help but bolt my food, my table manners are unsightly, and my mind is fixated on eating.If I were to act on impulse,that would make the others feel awkward and rob me of the gentility of the man of letters.If I had to try and practice self-control, what would be the point of sharing a meal and then not be one’s self?

[6]席間敬酒，先敬誰，順序不能亂，誰也不得漏，我又怎么記得?。慷矣忠f敬酒詞，我生來口訥，說得得體我不會，說得不得體又落個傲慢。敬領(lǐng)導(dǎo)要起立，一人敬全席起立，我腿有疾，幾十次起來坐下又起來，我難以支持。

[6]During the rounds of toasts, who should be the first to be saluted? That order too is inviolable.You cannot skip inadvertently over any single party.How could I be expected to com-mit all of this to memory? Furthermore, formal words must embellish a toast.I was not born articulate.I don’t know how to express myself correctly.If I were to express myself incorrectly, people would assume me to be proud and distant.When we offer toasts to senior leaders we are required to stand up.All of those present must get to their feet.I have something wrong with my leg.Rising and sitting down dozens of times that’s truly unbearable!

[7]我又不善笑，你知道，從來照相都不笑的。在席上當(dāng)然要笑，那笑就易于皮笑肉不笑，就要冷落席上的氣氛。

[7]What is more, I am not good at smiling.I don’t even smile when I’m having my photograph taken.At the banquet I would be compelled to beam broadly, of course, but that expression would be a movement of the skin not felt deep down in the flesh.In this case, an air of incongruousness would hang over the proceedings.

[8]更為難的是我自患病后已戒了酒。若領(lǐng)導(dǎo)讓我喝，我不喝拂他的興，喝了又得傷我身子。即使是你事先在我杯中盛白水，一旦發(fā)現(xiàn)，那就全沒了意思。

[8]To make matters harder still, I quit drinking because of an ailment.If the senior leaders were to propose a toast, my refusal would deflate their hospitable spirits.Should I knock the stuff back, that would imperil my health.One might simply fill my liquor cup with plain water, but once the ruse had been unmasked everything would be rendered meaningless.

[9]官場的事我不懂，寫文章又常惹領(lǐng)導(dǎo)不滿，席間人家若指導(dǎo)起文學(xué)上的事，我該不該掏了筆來記錄？該不該和他辯論？說是不是，說不是也不是。我這般年紀了，在外隨便慣了，在家也充大慣了，讓我一副奴相去逢迎，百般殷勤做媚態(tài)，一時半會兒難以學(xué)會。

[9]I am ignorant when it comes to officialdom.My articles always put officials on edge.During the banquet if the senior leaders were to deliver advice on writing, ought I to take out a notebook and jot down everything they said? Ought I to argue with them or not? It wouldn’t be proper for me to say either“yes”or“no.”I have reached that age when I’ve become accustomed to feeling comfortable outside and I’ve grown used to being the head of my own household.I’d struggle to act like a slave at the drop of a hat, affecting humble actions and flattering words.

[10]而你設(shè)一局飯，花銷幾千，忙活數(shù)日，圖的是皆大歡喜，若讓我去尷尬了人家，這飯局就白設(shè)了，我怎么對得住朋友？而讓我難堪，這你于心不忍，所以，還是放我過去，免了吧。

[10]You have prepared for this banquet,swallowing up thousands of yuan and many days.The purpose is to make everybody happy.If I were to go and be the object of embarrassment, all of that would have been in vain.How could I not regret what I had done? That would be a source of acute discomfort.You couldn’t bear to see this happen.So, let me decline and please forgive me.

[11]幾時我來做東，回報你的心意，咱坐小飯館，一壺酒，兩個人，三碗飯，四盤菜，五六十分鐘吃一頓！

[11]Sometime in the future I shall treat you to a meal.We can sit in a small inn, order one pot of liquor—just us two chaps, with three bowls of rice and four dishes.You may tuck in heartily for fifty minutes or an hour!

[12]如果領(lǐng)導(dǎo)知道了要請我而我未去，你就說我突然病了，病得很重。這雖然對我不吉利，但我寧愿重病，也免得我去壞了你的飯局而讓我長久心中愧疚啊。

[12]If the senior leaders find out that you did invite me but I declined to go, you can tell them that I’ve gone down with a sudden, serious illness.Although that would be an inauspicious lie, I’d rather be seriously ill than attend the event and spoil it.The pity would well up from the bottom of my heart and last inordinately.