A Dry Haircut

Story told by Zhang Zheng

Text by Sun Liyi

There was once a wealthy landowner who went in for a haircut but didn't want to pay for it, so he hatched out a devious plan to skip out on paying. He said to the barber, “I wish to have a dry haircut today!Should it come out well, the contents of this pouch and every string of silver taels in it shall be yours. Should it not turn out well,you must supply me an entire year's worth of haircuts, gratis.Fair enough?”

The barber thought about it for a moment but didn't answer. In one deft and sudden motion he snatched the man's money pouch and took off running. He ran to a rocky hill and threw the pouch down to the bottom of the hillside.Being that the landowner was a moneygrubbing old foozle, losing his wallet would be like cutting out his own heart. He chased after it as fast as his old legs could carry him. He crawled around on his hands and knees all over the hill in search of his precious coinage.

After a long spell he finally managed to retrieve his moneybag and came lumbering up the hill,huffing and puffing the whole way.Panting like a dog he wondered aloud, “Argh, you wretched fustiliarian! What the devil were you doing?”

The barber didn't reply. He just motioned towards the wooden bench and said, “You're sweating from head to toe. You must be worn to the bone. Sit and rest your weary legs.”

The moment the landowner sat down, the barber took out a razor and with a few quick swipes of the blade, he got his hair cut as clean as a whistle. With a jubilant smile the barber held up a hand-held mirror in front of the landowner and said, “What do you think? I didn't use even a drop of water,truly a dry cut!”

The landowner was dumbfounded. The only thing he could do was hand over the satchel full of silver, reluctantly,to the barber.