Charlie’s Raven (Excerpt V)《查理的渡鴉》（節選五）

瓊·克雷格黑德·喬治

Blue Sky rode on Charlies shoulder as far as the border of Singing Birds property， where he fluttered to the ground. After flipping a beetle on its back， the young bird strutted proudly between the two friends right up to the door of the teepee.

查理和歌唱鳥行走時，藍天一直待在查理的肩頭。等他們來到歌唱鳥的地盤，他才飛到地上。藍天把背上的一只甲殼蟲甩掉，然后昂首闊步地走在兩個好朋友中間，直奔圓錐形帳篷的大門而去。

Singing Brids father， Flying Cloud， had erected the teepee not far from his ranch house. The native home was both a museum and an office. Singing Birds parents were authorities on American Indian dances， teepees， artifacts， and customs. They made their living performing Teton Sioux dances for tourists at the Yellowstone Lodge twenty-five miles north. They were also writing a book on the three Sioux Nations， the Tetons， Lakotas， and Dakotas.

歌唱鳥的父親叫飛云，把圓錐形帳篷支在牧場大屋的不遠處。這一處印第安人之家既是博物館也是辦公室。歌唱鳥的父母是美洲印第安人舞蹈、圓錐形帳篷、手工藝品和習俗方面的權威專家。他們謀生的手段是在北邊相距25英里遠的黃石酒店為游客表演提頓蘇族舞蹈。他們也正在撰寫一部著作，有關蘇族的三大族群——提頓人、拉科塔人和達科塔人的著作。

Every detail of the teepee was traditional. Soaring Swallow， Singing Birds mother， had painted the brown and black bison on the outside. Flying Cloud had made the inside furnishings， beds， willow rod backrests， bows and arrows. The home was a national treasure and a sacred place to the people of the first nations. Flying Cloud and Soaring Swallows American names were Jim and Elaine Kenton， but they rarely used them， preferring their Teton Sioux names.

圓錐形帳篷的每一個細節都符合原汁原味的印第安人傳統。歌唱鳥的母親叫翔燕，在帳篷外側畫上了棕色和黑色的野牛。而帳篷內的各種布置都由飛云制作完成：床鋪、柳條靠背椅，還有弓和箭。這一處印第安人之家，對那些美洲原初部族而言，是民族寶藏和神圣的地方。飛云和翔燕也都有自己的英語名字，即吉姆和伊萊恩·肯頓。但他們很少使用英語名字，更愿意使用他們的提頓蘇族名字。

Singing Bird paused at the round door in the canvas teepee.

歌唱鳥在帆布帳篷的圓門的門口停下了腳步。

“You cant bring Blue Sky in，” she said. “He might mess， and Dad would have a fit. Leave him at the door. Hell stay where you leave him. Little birds obey their moms.” Charlie hesitated.

“你不能把藍天帶到帳篷里?！彼f?！八麜S地大便，爸爸可能生氣。把他留在門口吧。他會待在原地不動。小鳥兒會聽媽媽的話?！辈槔碛悬c猶豫。

“Its okay，” Singsing Bird said. “Hell wait.”

“沒問題?！备璩B說?！八麜饶愕?。”

“Well， if you say so.” Charlie put Blue Sky by the teepee door where the bird could see him and not wander away looking for his “Mom.”

“好吧，既然你這樣說。”查理把藍天放在帳篷門口，在那里鳥兒能看到查理，就不會亂走去找“媽媽”。

“And Charlie，” she said as she pushed back the round canvas door， “Remember to move to the left. Men move to the left. Women to the right.” She chuckled. “Dad sticks by the old traditions. Kinda fun.”

“還有查理，”歌唱鳥一邊說著一邊推開圓形的帆布門，“你要記住走左邊。男人走左邊。女人走右邊。”歌唱鳥咯咯笑了?！鞍职挚偸倾∈乩蟼鹘y。有點好笑?！?/p>

Charlie stepped into the spacious cone-shaped home and instantly felt at peace. There was order and beauty here. Flying Cloud was seated in the owners backrest at the rear south of the teepee. Charlie made his way over the fur-covered floor to him. Observing the etiquette learned from other visits to the teepee， he did not walk in front of the altar. The altar was hard to recognize， being only a small space of bare earth at the west end of the teepee. The Indian nations called it a “square of mellowed earth.”

查理一腳踏進寬敞的圓錐形房子，立馬覺得靜謐極了。一切都是井井有條美妙無比。飛云坐在帳篷南側遠端的主人靠背椅上。查理從鋪著毛皮的地上朝飛云走過去。此前他觀察過到訪圓錐形帳篷的禮儀，知道不能從祭壇前面走。祭壇不容易辨認，不過是一小片光禿禿的地面，就在帳篷的西端。印第安部族把祭壇叫作“一片熟地”。

He glanced around. The teepee was symbols from top to bottom. The floor was the earth， the walls the sky， and the poles the Indian trails to the spirit world.

查理瞥了一眼四周。帳篷里從上到下全都是有象征性的物品。地面代表土地，墻壁代表天空，木桿代表印第安人通往精神世界的道路。

Colors blazed from every furnishing. The drums by the altar shone red and blue. The willow backrests were painted with turquoise and white designs. Rich amber buffalo hides covered the floor. Brightly beaded boxes and moccasins sat on the floor beside piles of furry skins that were beds. The home was beautiful.

屋里的每一件配置都鮮艷奪目。祭壇旁邊的鼓閃耀著紅色和藍色。柳條靠背椅上面是青綠色和白色的圖案。地面上鋪著深琥珀色的野牛皮。地上還有鑲嵌著光閃閃珠子的箱子以及鹿皮鞋，旁邊有幾堆毛皮，那些是床。這個家很漂亮。

【背景知識】歌唱鳥帶查理和藍天到家里做客。查理走進印第安人的傳統帳篷里，仿佛進入了另一個世界。這一選段中，有一些渡鴉相關的知識，還有印第安人傳統的禮儀以及室內裝飾等。英語的語言文字特點屬于地點和景物描寫，翻譯過程中譯者需要查證印第安人的文化知識。

【第一段】第一句中的ride（騎）意義豐富，譯文拆散了原意，用“行走時”和“待在（肩頭）”來表達。接下來的原文是擬人化描寫，妙趣橫生。譯文也力求做到這一點（昂首闊步）。

【第二段】第二句中的native home不能簡單翻譯為“本地人的家”，譯文明晰化為“印第安人之家”。第四句原文比較長，句式有點復雜，譯文根據中文習慣調整了語序。最后一句按照中文的語法習慣可以把定語提前，但譯文重復了“著作”，是為了保持語流和信息結構，因為后面的補充信息偏多。

【第三段】第一句原文有較強的強調意味，如果僅僅翻譯為“圓錐形帳篷的每一個細節都是傳統的”，則意義寬泛，沒有強調語氣。因此，譯文添加了修飾語“原汁原味”。第四句中的first nations意義寬泛，譯文將其具體化為“美洲原初部族”。

【第四段】這一部分的口語簡潔靈活，譯文中有一些明晰化：“隨地大便”“可能生氣”等。

【第五段】這里仍然是口語化的表達，真實生動。譯文盡量保留了原文的語序，使之符合原文的信息順序，同時也符合中文習慣。

【第六段】第一句中的feel at peace意義豐富，有較大的闡釋空間。譯文使用了“覺得靜謐極了”，突出一種特殊環境對到訪者的影響。第二句there was order and beauty here同樣意義豐富，譯文使用了兩個成語來對應原文的整齊句式。

【第七段】第二句中的symbols（象征）很簡潔，但譯文需要用更多的字才能表達明白：“象征性的物品”。

【第八段】第一句中的詞組colors blaze不容易翻譯，譯文用“鮮艷奪目”來對應。后面的句式都是地點物品描寫，譯文保留了原文的信息結構，沒有打斷語流。

【小結】這一選段中的原文有幾大特色。其一是隱含著豐富的文化信息，需要譯者準確的查證和理解。其二是口語簡潔生動，譯文不應該啰嗦。其三是原文有較多的位置和物品特色描寫，中文譯文能否在保留原文信息結構的情況下做到順暢易懂，需要譯者好好琢磨。