錢望陽
2020 年1月讀后續寫題型再次出現在浙江省高考英語科目寫作第二節,該題型提供一段350詞以內的語言材料,要求考生根據該材料內容、所給段落開頭語和所標示關鍵詞語進行續寫(150詞左右),將其發展成一篇與給定材料有邏輯銜接、情節和結構完整的短文。讀后續寫既考查學生對所學語言知識的運用能力,又考查學生的發散思維能力和創造力。該題型要求考生首先要讀懂已有信息,不僅能讀懂字面含義,還要理清文章的脈絡和關系。續寫短文時,考生需要明白故事的發展進程、前因后果、地理位置變化、人物特征和情感等。在此基礎上,考生順著文章的思路,根據線索,發揮想象,對其后的情節進行合理預測,并用英語表達出來。同時,在組織語言時,切記至少使用5個給出的提示詞。下面是對本次高考讀后續寫試題的分析:
一、所給材料和題目要求
閱讀下面短文,根據所給情節進行續寫,使之構成一個完整的故事。
“Im going to miss you so much, Poppy,” said the tall, thin teenager. He bent down to hug his old friend goodbye. He stood up, hugged his parents, and smiled, trying not to let his emotions(情緒)get the better of him.
His parents were not quite able to keep theirs under control. They had driven their son several hours out of town to the university where he would soon be living and studying. It was time to say goodbye for now at least. The family hugged and smiled through misty eyes and then laughed.
The boy lifted the last bag onto his shoulder, and flashed a bright smile. “I guess this is it,” he said. “Ill see you back home in a month, okay?” His parents nodded, and they watched as he walked out of sight into the crowds of hundreds of students and parents. The boys mother turned to the dog, “Okay, Poppy, time to go back home.”
The house seemed quiet as a tomb without the boy living there. All that week, Poppy didnt seem interested in her dinner, her favorite toy, or even in her daily walk. Her owners were sad too, but they knew their son would be back to visit. Poppy didnt.
They offered the dog some of her favorite peanut butter treats. They even let her sit on the sofa, but the old girl just wasnt her usual cheerful self. Her owners started to get worried. “What should we do to cheer Poppy up?” asked Dad. “Weve tried everything.”
“I have an idea, but it might be a little crazy,” smiled Mom. “Without anybody left in the house but us, this place could use a bit of fun. Lets get a little dog for Poppy.”
It didnt take long before they walked through the front door carrying a big box. Poppy welcomed them home as usual, but when she saw the box, she stopped. She put her nose on it. Her tail began wagging(擺動)ever so slowly, then faster as she caught the smell.
注意:
1.所續寫短文的詞數應為150左右;
2.至少使用5個短文中標有下劃線的關鍵詞語;
3.續寫部分分為兩段,每段的開頭語已為你寫好;
4.續寫完成后,請用下劃線標出你所使用的關鍵詞語。
Para 1 Dad opened the box and a sweet little dog appeared.
Para 2 A few weeks later the boy arrived home from university.
二、試題分析
1.故事梗概
本次試題中的短文是仍然是記敘文,全文共346詞, 主要講述了父母和Poppy送少年上大學后,Poppy不知主人還會回來而郁郁寡歡。父母嘗試各種方法無果后,為Poppy領養了一只小狗以幫助Poppy走出情緒困境。該故事以“人與動物”為主題,以寵物狗Poppy的情感為主線,貼近生活,情節明晰。語言通俗易懂,以生活用語為主,劃線詞能靈活地穿插到各段落,適合學生續寫。原文語言地道,清晰,續寫創作必須要有堅實的語言基礎才能與原文風格保持一致,同時考生需要展現適當的同感心和豐富的想象力才能寫出出彩的文章。
2. 故事線索與邏輯
所給短文共有7段。故事背景包括:
When:after the boy went to university
Where: at home Who: Poppy; Puppy; the boy and his parents
What: Poppy was unhappy, so the boys parents got a puppy to cheer her up.
Why: Because the boy was away from home
因此從小說要素入手,在角色連續、地點連線、時間連續的基礎上,故事的第1至3段描述的是故事的背景:告別的場面(departure),為下文故事的展開埋下伏筆。第4,5兩段逐漸展開故事的主干:分離后,Poppy 情緒低落。最后兩段描寫父母想出了一個大膽的想法來為Poppy療傷。
根據故事不同發展階段,寵物狗Poppy有如下的情感變化:reluctant, depressed, calm.
總的來說所給原文的故事情節就是為了突出poppy對其主人的愛與依賴,以及the boy 和他的父母之間的愛意。因此在續寫故事,構思情節時要顧及到這一點, 所以這樣的故事結尾應該是一個有愛的幸福的結局。
3.關鍵詞語
本次讀后續寫試題所給短文標出的10個關鍵詞語中有6個名詞,2個動詞,2個形容詞,具體可分為以下類別:
人物: Poppy, parents, boy, dog
環境: university; box
動作行為: watch; hug
狀態:back
情感:cheerful
三、答題建議
1. 文體結構
全文以記敘文體為主。試題說明中明確指出“續寫部分分為兩段”,因此考生應緊接每段的開頭語答題。詞數要求在150詞左右(詞數沒有上限,但是不能少于130詞),建議兩段的詞數最好基本保持平衡。
2. 情節內容:Possible development
根據原文的文本大意,可以推斷出新狗狗到達后的兩種結果:
1)在新狗狗的陪伴下Poppy 恢復了往日的快樂;
2)Poppy因為男孩的離開依然很孤獨,不能與狗狗相處。
從以上對文本的解讀分析結合兩個段首句可以推測續寫的主要情節:
Para1: 主要寫狗狗的到來給家里帶來的變化,尤其是Poppy所產生的變化。本段可以增加的細節描寫包括:對新狗狗適當的外貌,動作描寫;Poppy的反應;父母的反應及家庭氛圍的變化。
3. 語言表達
1)時態
所給短文敘述的是發生在過去的事情,采用過去時態,因此,考生在續寫故事時應沿用過去時態。
2)語法結構
語法結構的豐富性和準確性是續寫評分時的一個重要標準,所以考生應避免句型單一化,盡量使用不同的語法結構。
3)細節描寫
如果說情節是故事的骨架,那么細節就是故事的血肉。精彩生動的故事情節需要在細節描寫中展現,使人受到感染并留下深刻印象,這就要求考生要善于在敘事中進行適當的描寫。例如,在第一段可以通過對Poppy的動作和神態描寫,表達她見到Puppy的開心,(cant take her eyes off the little pretty dog; dance with beam, wag; bark)第二段可以描寫男孩的興奮與感動。(a wild joy took hold of him; amazement gleamed in his eyes; try to fight back his tears)
4)語句銜接
這是記敘文體的文章,情節的發展通常按照時間順序展開,所以考生在續寫故事時應該有效地使用表示時間的短語或從句,使語句更加連貫、結構更加緊湊。例如: the instant he entered the house; then; no sooner…than等, 不太建議使用first, second, last這樣機械的關聯詞。
總而言之,考生應該以“點、線、面”的方式從小說要素出發,以角色情感為主線,架構故事情節,豐富故事語言。