主題是作者在文章中通過各種材料所表達的基本思想,它滲透、貫穿于文章的全部內容,體現著作者寫作的主要意圖,包含著作者對文章中所反映的客觀事物的基本認識、理解和評價。可以說,主題就是文章的靈魂,不管是中文作文,還是英語作文,都要“主題明確”。“讀寫任務”的寫作也不例外。那么,如何才能做到這一點呢?筆者將著重從“主題明確”的角度分析考生寫作過程中存在的問題,希望能對同學們有所幫助。
一、高考評分標準解讀
我們先看看高考“讀寫任務”評分標準各個檔次中對“主題明確”方面的要求:
從上面評分標準可看出,如果我們沒能讓文章“主題明確”,想拿一個理想的作文分幾乎是不可能的。
二、如何做到“主題明確”
一篇文章只能有一個主題,“讀寫任務”也不例外。一篇“讀寫任務”的好文章,應該從概括到話題議論或記敘只服務于一個主題。要做到這一點,需注意以下幾點。
1. 圍繞主題,擬好各段主題句。
例1:閱讀材料略。
[寫作內容]
1. (略)
2. 用約120個詞就“童年時代需要艱難生活的磨礪”的主題發表看法,內容包括:
(1)描述你的童年生活;
(2)你對童年時期的生活有怎樣的認識。
以下是學生的習作:(習作中的語法錯誤已修正,以下材料同)
In order to make children grow strong, parents should let them eat bitter foods, do hard work and experience a hard life, which will have a good effect on them. (Summary)
I grew up in a poor family. My parents were out of work and we had little money. I was looked down upon by others and was always laughed at by the children around me. I often cried when I was alone, but I had no way to solve the problem. I lived a miserable life.
I think parents should care about their children and love them. At the same time, I think a hard life is not a bad thing for children because they can learn more and grow stronger in difficult situations. So children should eat bitter food to learn to be frugal, do hard work to learn to cherish, and be sent to somewhere tough to learn to be brave.
[分析]乍一看,文章似乎按“寫作內容”的引導完成了全部的寫作內容,但由于第二段只是描述作者不快樂的童年,沒能緊扣主題“童年時代需要艱難生活的磨礪”進行論述,加上第三段首句也與主題不相關,主題的明確性大打折扣。
[對策]審題時要了解文章的主題是什么,然后結合寫作內容的提示擬好每個段落的主題句。接著再根據主題句展開段落的寫作,要把每個要點都與主題聯系起來。這樣做能確保文章思路清晰,主題明確。
如上面的文章可這樣擬提綱:
Para 1: Summary
Para 2: The way I lived my childhood plays an important part in my development.
Para 3: A hard life is not a bad thing for children.
下面是修改后的文章:
In order to make children grow strong, parents should let them eat bitter foods, do hard work and experience a hard life, which will have a good effect on them. (概括,提煉出閱讀材料的主題“童年時代需要艱難生活的磨礪”)
As for me, the way I lived my childhood plays an important part in my development.(段落主題句)I grew up in a poor family. My parents were out of work and we had little money. I was looked down upon by others and always laughed by the children around me. But it was in such a difficult situation that I learned to be independent and brave enough to face any challenge. Now I'm strong enough to help support the family.(該段描述我的童年生活,最后兩句緊扣文章的主題“童年時代需要艱難生活的磨礪”)
Sometimes, I think, a hard life is not a bad thing for children because they can learn more and grow stronger in difficult situations.(段落主題句) As a saying goes, flowers from a greenhouse can never withstand a storm. In my opinion, instead of being spoiled, children should eat bitter food to learn to be frugal, do hard work to learn to cherish, and be sent to somewhere tough to learn to be brave.(該段是我對童年時期的生活的認識,進一步突出主題)
2. 圍繞主題,選好恰當的例子。
例2:閱讀材料略
[寫作內容]
1.(略)
2. 以約120個詞寫一篇記敘文,描述現實生活中類似這種恩將仇報的現象,包括如下要點:
a. 敘述你或你的朋友遭遇到這種恩將仇報的一次真實或虛擬的經歷;
b. 你或你的朋友當時是如何處理的;
c. 你對此類現象的看法。
通過審題,我們可考慮文章分三段來寫:
Para 1: Summary
Para 2: An experience (Beginning→Developing→Ending)
Para 3: My opinion about this
以下兩段話摘自兩個學生習作的第二段內容(即要點a和b):
1. The story reminds me of a similar experience. Xiao Lin, a sixteen-year-old boy, lived next door to me. We used to be good friends and often played basketball together. But one day, he came to my house with a knife, put it on my chest and asked for 500yuan, saying that he needed money to play the on-line games. Shocked and angry, I knocked him down and called the police. Soon the police came and he was taken away.
2. I also have a similar experience. One day when I was on my way home from school, I found a wallet lying on the ground. I waited there for half an hour, hoping that the owner would come and get it back. But as it was getting dark I couldn’t wait any longer. With the help of a young man, I found the owner’s house according to the address on the ID card in the wallet. Much to my shock, when the man saw his wallet, he took it, turned round and closed the door, leaving me standing in the dark. I became very angry.
[分析]上面兩個例子都沒能較好地突出主題“恩將仇報”,第1個例子中沒有“恩”,第2個例子中缺少“仇”。
[對策]文章中的例子都是要說明文章主題的。因此,在“讀寫任務”寫作中,例子的選取和敘述都要注意扣緊文章主題。
以下是修改后的內容:
1. The story reminds me of a similar experience. Xiao Lin, a sixteen-year-old boy, lived next door to me. We used to be good friends and I cared him a lot. His parents were working in a faraway city. Whenever he got ill, I would take care of him until he was well again. But one day, he came to my house with a knife, put it on my chest and asked for 500 yuan, saying that he needed money to play the on-line games. Shocked and angry, I knocked him down and called the police. Soon the police came and he was taken away.
2. I also have a similar experience. One day when I was on my way home from school, I found a wallet lying on the ground. I waited there for half an hour, hoping that the owner would come and get it back. But as it was getting dark I couldn’t wait any longer. With the help of a young man, I found the owner’s house according to the address on the ID card in the wallet. Much to my shock, when he opened his wallet, he said he had 1000 yuan in the wallet that afternoon, and it was gone. He insisted that I had taken away the money and that I return it to him. I was so angry that I called the police. After being questioned by the policeman, he admitted he had told a lie and apologized to me.
3. 全文主題,前后要保持一致。
例3 2009年廣東高考“讀寫任務”題(閱讀材料略)
[寫作內容]
1.(略)
2. 以約120個詞就“該不該禁止游客和動物拍照”進行議論, 內容包括:
(1)人們在參觀動物園時為什么喜歡和動物拍照;
(2)假如你處在那些動物的處境, 你會有什么反應;
(3)你認為是否應該禁止游客和動物拍照。
以下是一位學生的寫作提綱:
Para 1: Summary
Para 2: Why visitors like to take photographs with animals
Para 3: What response I would have to such a situation were I one of the animals.(unhappy, angry)
Para 4: The government should not ban photographing with animals.
[分析] 從提綱看,學生能按要求完成所有的寫作任務,但細讀所提供的閱讀材料,我們可以感覺到閱讀文章運用了一種抱怨的寫作方式,即抱怨游客過于頻繁地與動物園里的動物拍照,從而影響了動物的正常生活。因此,從“主題明確”的角度看,考生如果從“不應該禁止游客和動物拍照”這一觀點入手寫最后一段,會讓人覺得他對話題的論述前后不一致。
[對策]在最后一段談個人的看法或提出問題的解決辦法時,要注意所談看法(或解決辦法)要順應前面的論述。這樣,才不會出現“全文主題前后不一致”甚至是“前后自相矛盾”的情況。
責任編校蔣小青