從高考閱卷情況談如何寫讀寫任務的Summary

王美麗

讀寫任務是有材料作文，要求考生在閱讀的基礎上寫一篇相關主題的作文；主要考查考生的閱讀理解能力、篇章概括能力和語言表達能力。筆者在2014年高考的評卷工作中，發現考生篇章概括能力較差。為方便分析，現將高考試題摘錄如下：

讀寫任務 閱讀下面短文，然后按照要求寫一篇150詞左右的英語短文。

Oseola McCarty spent more than 75 years washing and ironing other peoples clothes. As a laundrywoman， she was paid only a few dollars each time. Certainly nobody would consider her rich， so they were all amazed when Miss McCarty decided to donate $ 150，000 to the University of Southern Mississippi.

The money was I ... me savings. She could save such a large amount of money because she lived a very simple life. She never learned to drive， and when she wanted to go somewhere， she just walked. She never flew to anywhere till the donation（捐助），and in 50 years she had been out of the South only once. The house in which she lived was also a rather modest one her last uncle left her. Only after she became known in America did she begin to travel all over the country. Since then， she had been the subject of many interviews and articles and was even invited to the White House.

Her donation was for students who clearly needed financial help. She herself left school in the sixth grade and had never married or had children. She said to the reporters that the idea of helping somebodys child go to college gave her much pleasure.

一、主要問題

以下是筆者在高考評卷中發現考生的summary中存在的問題：

1. 沒有抓住原文的點睛之筆。

概括部分應該包括以下要點：

（1）Miss McCarty donated her life savings to a university.

（2）She worked as a laundryman and lived a very simple life.

（3）She was happy to give her money to students in need.

大多數考生未能夠寫出Miss McCarty was happy這一要點，也就是沒有抓住原文的點睛之筆： She said to the reporters that the idea of helping somebodys child go to college gave her much pleasure.

2. 對原材料的理解出現了偏差。

部分考生的概括中出現了這樣的句子：Miss McCarty donated her life savings to a university because she wanted to live a very simple life. 很明顯，這是因為考生沒有看懂原文而出現的理解上的偏差。如果出現這樣的句子該概括部分最多也不會超過3分。

3. 抄襲嚴重或出現過多細節。

在改卷中發現有部分考生有整段抄襲的現象。如，The passage tells us Oseola McCarty spent more than 75 years washing and ironing other peoples clothes. As a laundrywoman， she was paid only a few dollars each time. Certainly nobody would consider her rich， so they were all amazed when Miss McCarty decided to donate $ 150，000 to the University of Southern Mississippi.

有一些考生從每段中挑一個關鍵句子抄襲的情況。如，Miss McCarty decided to donate $ 150，000 to the University of Southern Mississippi. She could save such a large amount of money because she lived a very simple life. She said to the reporters that the idea of helping somebodys child go to college gave her much pleasure.endprint

還有部分考生沒有使用概括性的語言，涌入的細節、具體數字太多。如，She spent more than 75 years. She was paid only a few dollars each time； donate $ 150，000.

4. 加入個人的主觀看法。

在評卷中，我們發現不少考生在summary中添加了個人觀點。如，She is so great. She is so beautiful.等。

二、幾點建議

針對上述問題，筆者就如何寫好summary提出以下建議：

1. 抓要點，串要點。

閱讀材料若是記敘文（Narration），一般應找出時間（when），地點（where），什么人（who），做了什么事（what），結果怎么樣（how）等要素。其中最重要的要點是某人（who）做了何事（what）。今年高考題的閱讀中應找到：

某人（Who）：Oseola McCarty， who lived a very simple life

做了什么事（what）：donated her life saying to a university to help poor students

結果怎么樣（how）： aroused widespread social attention， she felt happy

然后，用自己的語言將這些要素串聯起來。要注意語言簡練，建議使用兩個句子概括，字數最好控制在26～36個詞之間。如，

Oseola McCarty， an ordinary worker with a thrifty lifestyle， donated a great deal of money to a university， which aroused widespread social attention. In return， she felt very pleasant.（29 words）

也可以從抓住文中的主題句入手，或者從每一段落中找出一個段落主題句子。以本次考試為例吧。

第一段：Miss McCarty decided to donate $ 150，000 to the University of Southern Mississippi。

第二段：She could save such a large amount of money because she lived a very simple life.

第三段：She said to the reporters that the idea of helping somebodys child go to college gave her much pleasure.

還可從這三個段落主題句中進一步提煉出關鍵詞donate， simple， pleasure等，然后再用自己的話將其表達出來。

2. 忽略具體細節。

如今年高考題中的以下信息就須忽略：Oseola McCarty spent more than 75 years washing and ironing other peoples clothes. As a laundrywoman， she was paid only a few dollars each time. She never learned to drive...The house in which she lived was also a rather modest one her last uncle left her...Since then， she had been the subject of many interviews and articles and was even invited to the White House...She herself left school in the sixth grade and had never married or had children.

如果閱讀材料是過去時，那么基本時態用過去時；如果是現在時，那么基本時態用現在時；不過，模板的開頭語一般為現在時如The passage tells us that...一般情況下采用第三人稱來寫作。特殊情況如書信，可能會使用第一、二人稱。顯然，上述材料應該使用一般過去時態。

3. 不要加入個人觀點。

要客觀、準確、全面地轉述原文的主要信息。不能加入個人的主觀看法、觀點，即不能自己對人物、事件作出個人的評價。如在本次考試中，考生不能在summary 中寫到：I love her very much. I think highly of Miss McCarty等評價性的句子。

4. 避免抄襲現象。

概括部分滿分5分，評分標準分為5個檔次，各個檔次均提到抄襲原文的問題。其中，如果大多數句子都抄自原文的為0～1分檔。所以考生既要找準關鍵詞，又要注意信息的整合，否則很容易就因為copy了原文句子而被列為最低檔了?？梢圆捎孟嚓P技巧如：

（1）近義替換。如，simple 用 plain/modest / thrifty替換。

（2）變換句式。如，Miss McCarty donated her life savings to a university改寫為：Miss McCartys life savings were donated to a university.

（3）詞性轉換。如，She said to the reporters that the idea of helping somebodys child go to college gave her much pleasure. 關鍵詞pleasure 由名詞替換意義相同的形容詞：She felt very pleased / satisfied / happy / delighted to help somebodys child go to college.endprint

5. 恰當使用連詞。

恰當使用but， and， so， while， however， then， yet， for， therefore， thus， including， instead of，in return 等，避免邏輯混亂。上文提到的Miss McCarty donated her life savings to a university because she wanted to live a very simple life. 可以修改為：Miss McCarty lived a very simple life but she donated her life savings to a university.

實戰演練

請同學們按照以上方法，用約30個詞概括下列短文的主要內容。

Recently divorced， I was in my 20s，had no job and was on my way downtown to go the rounds of the employment offices. I had no umbrella， for my old one had fallen apart， and I could not afford another one.

I sat down in the streetcar--and there against the seat was a beautiful silk umbrella with a silver handle inlaid with gold and necks of bright enamel. I had never seen anything so lovely. I examined the handle and saw a name engraved among the golden scrolls. The usual procedure would have been to turn in the umbrella to the conductor， but on impulse I decided to take it with me and find the owner myself.

I got off the streetcar in a downpour and thankfully opened the umbrella to protect myself. Then I searched a telephone book for the name on the umbrella and found it. I called and a lady answered. Yes， she said in surprise that was her umbrella， which her parents，now dead， had given her for a birthday present. But， it had been stolen from her locker at school a year before.

She was so excited that I forgot I was looking for a job and went directly to her small house. She took the umbrella， and her eyes filled with tears. I was only too happy to see her got back the lost umbrella，and get a job she offered me.

解題過程

找要點：找出某人做了某事，結果如何。

某人（Who）：The author

做了什么事（what）：found an umbrella in the streetcar and telephoned the owner

結果怎么樣（how）：The author was happy and the owner offered the author a job.

串要點：用自己的語言將各要素串聯起來。參考范文如下：

The author， out of work， happened to pick up an umbrella in the streetcar and tried to find the owner. The author was pleased and also got a job offered by the owner of the umbrella.（36 words）

總之，記敘文的summary，首先找出其基本要素，然后要用自己的概括性的語言將各要素串聯起來。要注意忽略細節，不能加入主觀評價信息，避免抄襲嫌疑。

（作者單位：開平市第一中學）

責任編校 蔣小青endprint