如何讓考場英語作文“亮”起來

王海江

筆者曾多次參加高考英語的寫作閱卷工作，真正的英語高分作文已不僅僅局限于用簡單的語言把內(nèi)容說清楚，把意思表達(dá)完整，而是要讓文章的句子表達(dá)得更加地道、流暢，能吸引評卷老師的眼球。因此，要想作文得高分，考生要善于靈活運用高級句式，充分掌握句子的潤色技巧，才可讓考場作文亮起來。

請認(rèn)真對照并仔細(xì)體會以下各句的一般表達(dá)與高級表達(dá)，以便在寫作中恰當(dāng)運用高級表達(dá)，讓自己的作文亮起來。

一、定語從句中的介詞提前

1. [漢語] 布魯斯是一名知識淵博的外教，我們可以從他身上學(xué)到很多東西。

[一般] Bruce is a foreign teacher with a wide range of knowledge. We can learn a lot from him.

[高級] Bruce is a foreign teacher with a wide range of knowledge， from whom we can learn a lot.

2. [漢語] 我們住在那個宿舍，前面有一條小溪。

[一般] We lived in that dormitory. There was a small brook in front of it.

[高級] We lived in that dormitory， in front of which there was a small brook.

二、使用非謂語動詞

3. [漢語] 正在原來校址上重建的新校將用現(xiàn)代化的技術(shù)來裝備。

[一般] Our new school， which is being rebuilt in the previous place， will be well equipped with modern technology.

[高級] Our new school， being rebuilt in the previous place， will be well equipped with modern technology.

4. [漢語] 當(dāng)他聽到那個令人興奮的消息后，他整夜都睡不著。

[一般] When he heard the exciting news， he couldnt fall asleep overnight.

[高級] Hearing the exciting news， he couldnt fall asleep overnight.

5. [漢語] 在這場暴風(fēng)雨中，我們發(fā)現(xiàn)很多房子遭到意想不到的嚴(yán)重毀壞。

[一般] In the terrible rainstorm， we found that many houses were badly damaged unexpectedly.

[高級] In the terrible rainstorm， we found many houses badly damaged unexpectedly.

三、使用with和without的復(fù)合結(jié)構(gòu)

6. [漢語]由于期末考試臨近，所有學(xué)生都在忙于復(fù)習(xí)。

[一般] As the final term is drawing near， all the students are occupied with their revision.

[高級] With the final term drawing near， all the students are occupied with their revision.

7. [漢語]老師進(jìn)入教室，同學(xué)們都在看書。

[一般] The teacher entered the classroom， and all students are reading their books.

[高級] The teacher entered the classroom， with all students reading their books.

8. [漢語]所有作業(yè)都順利完成后，他和同學(xué)一起去踢球了。

[一般] After all his homework was well finished， he went out to play football with his classmates.

[高級] With all his homework well finished， he went out to play football with his classmates.

9. [漢語] 由于睡覺前還有這么多工作要做，湯姆感到非常沮喪。

[一般] As Tom has a lot of work to do before going to bed， Tom feels much frustrated

[高級] With a lot of work to do before going to bed， Tom feels much frustrated.

10. [漢語] 她沒再說什么話就離開了會議室。

[一般] She didnt speak a word any more， she left the meeting room.

[高級] Without a word more spoken， she left the meeting room.

四、妙用what引導(dǎo)的名詞性從句

11. [漢語] 使我們感到高興的是，他已被一所重點大學(xué)錄取。

[一般] To our delight， he has been admitted to a key university.

[高級] What makes us delighted is that he has been admitted to a key university.

12. [漢語] 我們應(yīng)該把學(xué)校學(xué)到的東西服務(wù)于社會。

[一般] We are expected to apply the things we have learnt at school to serving the society.

[高級] We are expected to apply what we have learned at school to serving the society.

五、應(yīng)用倒裝句

13. [漢語] 只有用這種可行的方法你才能夠解決這個復(fù)雜的問題。

[一般] You can deal with the complicated problem only with this feasible method.

[高級] Only with this feasible method can you deal with the complicated problem.

14. [漢語] 只有通過這種方式他才能夠逃脫大火。

[一般] He escaped from the big fire only by this means.

[高級] Only by this means can he escaped from the big fire.

15. [漢語] 盡管這個小孩的年齡很小，但他卻認(rèn)識很多名車。

[一般] Although the little boy is young， he knows a lot about many famous brand cars.

[高級] Young as the little boy is， he knows a lot about many famous brand cars.

六、使用雙重否定

16. [漢語] 大家都認(rèn)為去掉這些壞習(xí)慣比較困難。

[一般] Everybody believes that its more challenging to get rid of bad habits.

[高級] Nobody can deny that its more challenging to get rid of bad habits.

七、使用強(qiáng)調(diào)句

17. [漢語] 直到他嚴(yán)重生病，他才決心戒煙。

[一般] He was not determined to give up smoking until he got badly sick.

[高級] It was not until he got badly sick that he was determined to give up smoking.

18. [漢語] 從那個珍貴的生日禮物上，他才意識到母親對自己的愛。

[一般] From the precious birthday present， he realized how his mother loved him.

[高級]It was from the precious birthday present that he realized how his mother loved him.

八、使用同位語（介紹某人或某物時使用）

19. [漢語] 李明是我以前的同學(xué)，他將要來參觀他曾經(jīng)學(xué)習(xí)過的地方。

[一般] Li Ming， who is my previous classmate， will pay a visit to where he ever studied.

[高級] Li Ming， my previous classmate， will pay a visit to where he ever studied.

20. [漢語] 世界七大奇觀之一的長城吸引著世界各地的游客。

[一般] Great Wall， which is one of the seven wonders in the world， attracts visitors from all over the world.

[高級] Great Wall， one of the seven wonders in the world， attracts visitors from all over the world.

九、適當(dāng)增加插入語

21. [漢語] 然而，玩游戲可以提高學(xué)生在緊急情況下的反應(yīng)能力。

[一般] However， playing video games can increase students abilities of reaction to something emergent.

[高級] Playing video games， however， can increase students abilities of reaction to something emergent.

22. [漢語] 依我看，政府應(yīng)該馬上采取措施應(yīng)對各種污染。

[一般] In my opinion， government is supposed to take immediate measures against pollution of all kinds.

[高級] Government， in my opinion， is supposed to take immediate measures against pollution of all kinds.

十、恰當(dāng)使用被動句

23. [漢語] 上周五我們學(xué)校在學(xué)生中間進(jìn)行了一場關(guān)于學(xué)生是否可做兼職工作的激烈辯論。

[一般] Our school held a fierce debate about whether students should do part-time jobs among the students last Friday.

[高級] A fierce debate about whether students should do part-time jobs was carried out among the students in our school last Friday.

24. [漢語] 下周學(xué)生會將要舉辦一場關(guān)于公共場合抽煙的危害性的講座。

[一般] The Students Union will offer a lecture about the harm of smoking in public next week.

[高級] A lecture about the harm of smoking in public will be offered by Students Union next week.

以上各個例句建議背熟。唯有背熟，才可模仿套用，在寫作中舉一反三，靈活運用。

值得一提的是，上述雖然將其分為一般表達(dá)和高級表達(dá)，但在實際寫作中，也不必過分追求，要盡量采用你最有把握的表達(dá)方式。再說，雖然用非謂語動詞會比用定語從句子會更加簡潔，但也不一定就更高級，就算是更高級，但同一篇短文中既有定語從句又有非謂語動詞等更豐富的句式，也許會更好。

（作者單位：廣東深圳市福田外國語高級中學(xué)）

責(zé)任編輯 蔣小青