相寧
在讀后續寫中,結尾發揮著非常重要的作用,精彩的結尾好似畫龍點睛,讓人回味無窮。常見的結尾方式有景物描寫結尾、哲理性語言結尾、自然結尾等。
除基本的揭示故事結尾外,在表現手法上,結尾還應與前文伏筆照應,使人覺得在情理之中;與前文形成對比,點明主旨,深化主題。在塑造人物形象上,結尾應表現人的心理、性格、品質、經歷、命運、能力等。在故事情節上,結尾還可以照應標題和開頭,使故事結構完整。
下面以2020年新高考全國卷I(山東卷)為例,介紹幾種簡單易學的結尾方式,希望對同學們有所借鑒。
【2020年新高考全國卷I(山東)】
閱讀下面材料,根據其內容和所給段落開頭語續寫兩段,使之構成一篇完整的短文。
The Meredith family lived in a small community. As the economy was in decline, some people in the town had lost their jobs. Many of their families were struggling to make ends meet. People were trying to help each other meet the challenges.
Mrs. Meredith was a most kind and thoughtful woman. She spent a great deal of time visiting the poor. She knew they had problems, and they needed all kinds of help. When she had time, she would bring food and medicine to them.
One morning she told her children about a family she had visited the day before. There was a man sick in bed, his wife, who took care of him and could not go out to work, and their little boy. The little boy -his name was Bernard-had interested her very much.
“I wish you could see him,” she said to her own children, John, Harry, and Clara. “He is such a help to his mother. He wants very much to earn some money, but I dont see what he can do.”
After their mother left the room, the children sat thinking about Bernard. “I wish we could help him to earn money,” said Clara. “His family is suffering so much.”
“So do I,” said Harry. “We really should do something to assist them.”
For some moments, John said nothing, but, suddenly, he sprang to his feet and cried, “I have a great idea! I have a solution that we can all help accomplish(完成).”
The other children also jumped up all attention. When John had an idea, it was sure to be a good one. “I tell you what we can do,” said John. “You know that big box of corn Uncle John sent us? Well, we can make popcorn (爆米花), and put it into paper bags, and Bernard can take it around to the houses and sell it.”
Paragraph 1: When Mrs. Meredith heard of Johns idea, she thought it was a good one, too.
Paragraph 2: With everything ready, Bernard started out on his new business.
【解析】本文是根據短文進行續寫,使之成為一個完整的故事。
1.認真讀懂所提供的材料:善良的Meredith一家住在一個小社區里,他們想幫助一個貧困的家庭。那家的男主人生病臥床,女主人要照顧丈夫,無法外出賺錢,家中的小男孩Bernard也做不了什么事情,生活十分困難。后來,Meredith的孩子想出了一個主意——制作爆米花,讓Bernard去賣爆米花。
2.根據所給材料確定文章主題:Meredith如何通過制作和賣爆米花來幫助Bernard一家擺脫困境。
3.續寫部分和前面的文章要銜接得上,并且與原文情節發展和人物性格相一致,故事情節的向后延續和發展要合乎情理。
4.根據第一段首句When Mrs. Meredith heard of Johns idea, she thought it was a good one, too.(當Meredith太太聽到John的主意時,她也認為這是個好主意)可以針對如何實現制作爆米花這個提議展開構思;根據第二段首句With everything ready, Bernard started out on his new business.(一切準備就緒后,Bernard開始了他的新生意)可以針對Bernard如何通過賣爆米花讓家庭擺脫困境以及他的感受(高興、感恩等)展開構思。
5.續寫的語言要盡可能與原文的語言保持風格上的一致。文章時態以一般過去時為主。考生應使用自己熟悉的句型和短語進行寫作,要注意盡可能地使句子的表達形式多樣化,適當地使用一些高級句式和高級詞匯,以提高書面表達的檔次和可讀性。作文要層次清晰,要點全面,表達流暢;切合題干要求,句子結構準確;適當補充信息,使篇章結構連貫。
一、哲理式結尾
哲理式結尾,即在結尾用富含哲理的語句,總結全文,升華主旨,并給人以啟發。其一般用于引申文意,起到“言已盡而意無窮”的效果,使文章的中心更突出。同學們平常可以積累一些富含哲理的段落或句子,若將之移用到文章的結尾,不僅能深化主題,而且能啟人深思,給讀者以有益的啟迪。
【參考范文】
When Mrs.Meredith heard of the idea, she thought it was a good one,too. Then Mrs. Meredith searched the Internet and ordered a household popcorn machine. After that, Mrs. Meredith together with her three children paid another visit to the family and told them about the popcorn plan. Needless to say, the family were deeply moved, especially Bernard who could sell popcorn to make money for his family. A few days later, a popcorn machine was delivered to Mrs. Meredith doorstep. And it wasnt long before they got the hang of using the machine to make popcorn.
With everything ready, Bernard started out on his new business. Although it was a hard time and things were tight for everyone, Bernards business turned out quite well. He carried popcorn on his small bike, going from door to door to sell it. People were surprised to see this little poorly-dressed boy selling popcorn at their doors, but eventually almost of them could buy one bag or two.It is love that make the world go round, just as a saying goes,“the fragrance always stays in the hand that gives the rose.”
【解析】該篇范文在構思情節時步步推進。第一段在所給的句子后展開構思,就如何幫助Bernard進行寫作,Mrs. Meredith在網上預訂了制作爆米花的機器,并告知了Bernard一家人,作者用deeply moved描寫了這一家人的感動。第二段描述了Bernard挨家賣爆米花的情形,而且其他人得知這個情況后,都紛紛解囊購買爆米花來幫助他。最后作者以哲理句“是愛使世界運轉,贈人玫瑰,手有余香”結尾,升華主題,點明“只要有愛,世界就會美好”的主題。
【哲理式結尾佳句積累】
1. Man is not made for defeat. A man can be destroyed but not defeated.
人不是為失敗而生的。人可以毀滅,但不能被打敗。
2.The pessimist sees difficulty in every opportunity. The optimist sees opportunity in every difficulty.
悲觀主義者在每個機會里看到困難,樂觀主義者在每個困難那里看到機會。
3. Be thankful for what you have; youll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don't have, youll never, ever have enough.
感激你所擁有的,最終你會得到更多。如果你總是對那些沒有得到的東西耿耿于懷,那么你永遠也不會滿足。
4. The best way to defeat your fear is to face your fear head-on.
克服恐懼最好的方法是迎面直擊。
5. Never underestimate yourself, for you have no idea what you are capable of.
永遠不要低估自己,因為你不知道你的能力所限。
二、以景結情式結尾
好的文章首先要給讀者以美的享受和熏陶。在文章發展的過程中,戛然而止,轉為寫景,以景代情,結束文章,使文章有“此處無情勝有情”的效果。
在寫景結尾時,同學們要選擇具有美感的景物,在情景交融中回味文意,體會文章主旨。景物應簡潔疏朗,結尾寫景抓住一兩個意象即可,景物過多顯得雜亂,沖淡了景物描寫的作用,難以表現景物中蘊含的情感,忌簡單羅列。
【參考范文】
When Mrs. Meredith heard of Johns idea, she thought it was a good one, too. Then she said, “you may send him every Saturday morning, if you will pop the corn for him yourselves. John, will you agree to take charge of the work?” “Indeed, I will,” replied John, and he kept his word. Very soon the children were busy popping the corn, while their mother went out to buy the paper bags. When she came back, she brought Bernard with her. The corn was all popped, the paper bags filled, and arranged in the basket when Bernard arrived.
In a short time, he started out on his new business. And much sooner than could be expected, he returned with an empty basket. Never had he earned so much money before in his life. When he found that it was all to be his, he was so delighted that he could hardly speak, but his bright smiling face spoke for him. Every day he had at least fifty cents to take home, and often more. One night, he went home with some food bought for his family. Gentle breeze wiping his face, a sudden happiness and warmth just hit him.
【解析】分析文章可知,續寫部分主要為Mrs. Meredith是如何幫助Bernard的以及在她的幫助下Bernard的生活有所改善。根據所給的首句,第二段主要描述Bernard如何努力地賣爆米花。結果當然是好的,Bernard應該感到高興,因為他的生意可以改善一家人的生活。該篇文章的結尾由前面Bernard的感受而來,以情結景,情景交融,Gentle breeze這一意象充分表達了Bernard的喜悅與感恩之情,令人回味無窮。
【以景結情式結尾佳句】
1. No matter how cold the winter was, all that they could feel now was the surpassing warmth.
無論冬天多么寒冷,他們現在感受到的都是撲面而來的溫暖。
2. Everything went smoothly and quietly, so in the dark night, a boy was reading while his mother was eating, snows heavy outside though, it just couldnt stop the warmth filling up the whole room.
一切都進行得順利而安靜,因此在黑暗的夜晚,一位男孩在讀書的同時,他的母親在吃飯。盡管外面下著大雪,但也阻擋不了整個房間彌漫的溫暖。
3. I believe in full blossom, Grandmas sitting peacefully in the sun, every flower carrying her previously hope, with Grandpa beside her, giggling like a child.
我相信盛開的花朵,奶奶安詳地坐在陽光下,每一朵花都帶著她以前的希望。爺爺在她身邊,咯咯地笑著,像個孩子。
4. The wind murmured in the trees and the sunlight flooded in through the window, warming the whole room, as if freezing ice was melted.
風在樹上低語,陽光透過整個房間照射進來,冰凍的冰好像融化了。
5. In the heavy snow, passion and love burnt as they hugged and smiled.
在大雪中,當他們擁抱并微笑時,激情和愛在燃燒。
三、自然式結尾
自然結尾很容易,事情記敘完了,結果也來了,文章也就結束了,這就是自然式結尾。自然式結尾在把內容表達完了之后,自然而然地收束全文,而不去設計蘊意深刻的哲理語句。
這樣的結尾顯得單純明快、樸素無華。但講究“自然”并不意味馬虎草率,而是順著文章發展的自然趨勢結束全局。有的時候雖然自然式結尾平淡無奇,但回味無窮,給讀者留有思考的空間。自然式結尾簡單、自然,使文章的結構顯得十分完整。作為讀后續寫的文章,常常不一定含有某種深刻的道理,這時只要將故事補充完整就足夠了。
【參考范文】
When Mrs. Meredith heard of Johns idea, she thought it was a good one, too. So, they went to the local supermarket together. They bought a bag of corn and some special bags for popcorn. When they got home, they made a lot of popcorn and put it in the special bags. With the popcorn, they went to Bernards home. They told Bernard how to sell the popcorn. Bernard and his parents were very grateful. And the Meredith family also felt very happy to help this family.
With everything ready, Bernard started out on his new business. He took the popcorn around to the houses and sold all his popcorn. He earned a lot of money. Then, he wanted to be self-dependent. Therefore, he asked Mrs. Meredith to teach him how to make popcorn. After that, not only did he sell popcorn, but he also added cream and salt to the popcorn to make it taste better. Bernard grew up to be a remarkable man. He never forgot Mrs. Merediths help. He and his family have lived a happy life ever since.
【解析】這段續寫緊扣原文,按故事發展的主線進行敘述。第一段介紹了Mrs. Meredith如何制作爆米花并裝袋送給Bernard的過程,也涉及了Bernard的感激之情;第二段講述了之后的發展,Bernard掙了很多錢,然后獨立出來,請Mrs. Meredith教他制作爆米花,并進行了改良。根據故事發展的趨勢,那么最后自然的結尾應該是Bernard和家人過著幸福的生活,同時他也不會忘記Mrs. Meredith對他的幫助.
四、對話式結尾
對話式結尾指文章以對話結束,此對話的功能包括:緊扣主線、意味深長、反映人物心理、揭示謎底、首尾呼應等。對話式結尾有時伴有相應的動作收尾,因為說完話總會有肢體動作伴隨。對話式結尾有時意味深長,值得回味,留有空白給讀者思考與感悟。使用這種結尾的前提是文章立意佳,否則就會弄巧成拙。還是以2020年新高考全國卷I(山東卷)的讀后續寫為例。
【參考范文】
When Mrs. Meredith heard of Johns idea, she thought it was a good one, too. When the three siblings called on Bernard and shared the ‘big project with the poorboy, Bernards face lit up but quickly his excitement faded. “Thank you for your big box of corn, but I dont have a single penny to buy popcorn and paper bags.” Bernard sighed heavily. Smiling slyly, John produced 50 dollars, which was contributed together by Clara and Harry. Excitement returned to Bernards face as he murmured a sincere thank you with a trembling voice.
With everything ready, Bernard started out on his new business. On the first day he was so nervous that he could barely peddle the popcorns to the people in the street. Thinking of his mother and father, he told himself, “Bernard, you can do it!”. Then he shouted, “Come and taste my popcorns! Delicious and crispy!” Slowly people around were attracted by this little popcorn boy and he earned more money than expected. Hearing the good news, Mrs. Merediths said to her children, “Done! The twentieth. Next Ill help my neighbour Jenny make handicrafts. ”
【解析】這篇續寫緊扣文章主題,續寫順接故事的發展線索。第一段描寫的是解決錢的問題,Mrs. Meredith和幾個孩子湊了一些錢捐給Bernard,這讓他很感動,也很興奮。第二段描述Bernard做生意的情況,從開始的緊張,到后來慢慢變好,并掙了很多錢。但結尾作者話鋒一轉,用Mrs. Meredith說給孩子們的話表達了她的自豪——已經幫助了二十個人,還要繼續幫助其他人,這也與文章的前兩段首尾呼應,暗示了當時的社會形勢以及Mrs. Meredith的樂于助人,而且這個對話式的結尾也給讀者對于后面故事的發展留下了想象的空間。
總之,讀后續寫的結尾非常重要,好的結尾可以起到“畫龍點睛”的作用,既揭示故事的結局,又呼應前文的伏筆,點明主旨,深化主題,讓人掩卷長思,回味悠長。