由淺入深增加應用文細節

應用文寫作要求考生依據所給的內容要點進行寫作，形式上屬于半開放性寫作任務，在準確且切題地把握主旨的情況下，需要考生合理增加一定量的細節使得文章在內容上更為豐富，語言上更加生動。然而，并非任意細節都能成為加分的亮點，只有考生所添加的細節切合語境，才能使文章在內容及用詞上顯得高級。

本文將借由2017年北京市高考應用文真題例談如何由淺入深，合理增加應用文的細節，原題如下：

假如你是李華，你的英國朋友Jim所在的學校要組織學生來中國旅行，有兩條線路可以選擇——“長江之行”或者“泰山之旅”。Jim來信希望你能給他一些建議。請你給他回信，內容包括：1. 你建議的路線；2. 你的理由；3. 你的祝愿。

從試題要求來看，要點1及要點3切合了推薦信的文體格式，對考生的限制較大，在內容上可補充的信息相對較少，因此要點2即成為本文細節增加的核心點。

從主題來看，該試題為旅游路線推薦，并且所給的路線為“長江”與“泰山”，兩者都是中國非常有名的自然景點，因此主題可以歸入人與自然。但仔細分析，兩處景點在中華文化圈內又具有獨特的人文性質，可以歸入物質文化遺產行列，因而主題又同人與社會相關聯。由此，寫作要點2推薦理由可以涵蓋兩點：1. To admire，即淺層的觀賞體驗；2. To learn，即深層的文化感悟。

以下是針對上述兩點常見的表述：

1. To admire （觀賞層面）

enjoy a（n） impressive/ splendid/ breathtaking/ incredible/ panoramic view of… 欣賞令人印象深刻/壯麗/嘆為觀止/不可思議的/全景式的景色

feast your eyes on the stunning/ awesome beauty of… 讓你的眼睛飽覽驚人的/壯美的景色

be rewarded with a visual feast 獲得一場視覺盛宴

unfolding before you is … 在你面前徐徐展開的是……

The picturesque/ scenic nature will leave you at a loss for words / literally take your breath away. 風景如畫的大自然會讓你嘆為觀止/讓你屏住呼吸。

The beauty of… is beyond words /description 無法用言語描述……的美麗

It is definitely a place worth visiting. 這絕對是一個值得一游的地方。

2. To learn （文化或內心感悟）

gain new insights into sth. 獲得對……新的見解

gain awareness of … 獲得對……的認知

have a deeper understanding /appreciation of 對……有更深入的理解

be exposed to/ expose oneself to接觸到、暴露于……

immerse oneself in sth./ be immersed in sth. 沉浸于……

expand/ broaden your horizons/ expand your perspective拓展視野

在此基礎上，以“泰山之旅”為例，將淺層的觀賞與深層的體悟相結合，我們可以架構起詳實的推薦理由，例句如下：

[例1] The winding path will lead you to the mountaintop， on which you can enjoy a（n） incredible/ panoramic view of the city lying below. 蜿蜒的小路將把你引向山頂，在那里你可以欣賞到壯麗的山下城市/山下城市的全景。（觀賞層面）

[例2] Climbing the mountain might be challenging， but you will be rewarded with a magnificent view after making it to the top. 攀登這座山可能很有挑戰性，但登頂后你會看到壯麗的景色。（觀賞層面）

[例3] The spectacular view along the way and the glorious sunrise will leave you at a loss for words. Besides， by immersing yourself in the cultural relics left on Mount Tai by emperors and poets， you will gain new insights into the Chinese history and culture. 沿途壯觀的景色和燦爛的日出會讓你嘆為觀止。此外，沉浸在帝王和詩人留在泰山上的遺跡中，你會對中國的歷史和文化有新的了解。（觀賞與文化感悟）

[例4] The incredible landscape， combined with splendid cultures， is not only a big feast for your eyes， but also an opportunity to expand your perspective. 壯麗的風景，與燦爛的文化相結合，不僅能讓你大飽眼福，也是一次拓展視野的機會。（觀賞與內心感悟）

[例5] Climbing is a perfect way to interact with the picturesque natural scene this splendid mountain offers and when you reach the top， youll gain an overwhelming sense of accomplishment. 攀登是與這座壯麗山峰所展現的如畫般美麗的自然景觀互動的完美方式，當你到達頂峰，你會感到成就感充盈你的周身。（內心感悟）

以下是推薦“泰山之旅”的一篇范文。

Dear Jim，

Im delighted to receive your letter and know youre visiting China.

Though both tours are highly recommended， I prefer the trip to Mount Tai， which is a combination of incredible landscapes and splendid cultures. The winding path there will lead you to the top， where you will be amazed at the stunning beauty that unfolds before you. Meanwhile， exposed to various cultural relics there， youll gain awareness of wisdom of Chinese people. Though the climbing is challenging， its the difficulty that makes the journey a rewarding one.

Wish you an enjoyable and educational journey.

Yours，

Li Hua

對于推薦“長江之行”，我們可以用相同的手法，請完成以下例句：

[例1] Among them，"""" the Three Gorges Dam （三峽大壩特別令人驚嘆| 倒裝句）， one of the biggest dams in the world.

[例2] As the longest river in China， the Yangtze River"""" （蜿蜒穿過高聳的山脈、深谷和廣闊的平原）， whose picturesque beauty is literally """ （難以用言語形容）.

[例3] The Yangtze River， known as the longest river in China and """"" （中華文明的搖籃）， is "" （很值得一游）.

[例4] If you cruise down the river， you can " （欣賞古代文物）， """" （觀賞如畫的自然美景） and """ （與熱情好客的人交朋友）.

[例5] Cruise down the Yangtze River， and youll find yourself""""" （暴露于多種多樣的文化） unique to southern China. Meanwhile， the awesome natural scenery along the riverside will"""" （簡直讓你驚訝得說不出話） by""""" （讓你大飽眼福） towering mountains， deep valleys and so on.

參考答案

[例1] Among them， especially amazing is the Three Gorges Dam， one of the biggest dams in the world.

[例2] As the longest river in China， the Yangtze River winds its way through towering mountains， deep valleys and vast plains， whose picturesque beauty is literally beyond description/ words.

[例3] The Yangtze River， known as the longest river in China and the cradle of the Chinese civilization， is well worth visiting.

[例4] If you cruise down the river， you can appreciate ancient cultural relics， admire picturesque natural sights and befriend warm-hearted/ hospitable people.

[例5] Cruise down the Yangtze River， and youll find yourself exposed to various cultures unique to southern China. Meanwhile， the awesome natural scenery along the riverside will literally take your breath away by feasting your eyes on towering mountains， deep valleys and so on.

參考范文

Dear Jim，

So glad to hear from you and know youre coming to China. Of the two destinations available， I think the Yangtze River is definitely worth visiting.

Cruising down the river， you can expose yourself to picturesque natural beauty， including towering mountains， deep valleys and vast plains. Meanwhile， its a precious opportunity to see unique animals like Chinese alligators. Besides， the Yangtze River Tour will immerse you in diverse cultures， which will expand your perspective and support your inner evolution.

Hope you can have a good time and gain a deeper understanding/ appreciation of Chinese culture.

Yours，

Li Hua

【作者簡介：中學二級教師，在《廣東教育》《教學考試》等雜志發表過多篇文章，曾多次指導學生獲得外研社杯全國一等獎、二十一世紀英語演講比賽全國二等獎】

責任編輯 吳昊雷